Intimacy is the experience of being close enough that pretense costs too much. It can be sexual. It can be a 1 a.m. conversation about money fear. Bodies in the same bed do not guarantee it. Some of the loneliest people are the ones who have a lot of sex and no place to put a true sentence.

Physical intimacy includes shared sleep, casual touch, and sex. Emotional intimacy includes being known. They support each other and they can also split. A couple can have one and starve the other for years.

Building it looks ordinary: eye contact that lasts a second longer, a phone face down at dinner, a repair after a sharp remark. Grand gestures are optional. Reliability is not.

If intimacy feels dangerous because of old harm, slower is not cowardice. It is pacing.