Sadomasochism is pleasure in giving or receiving pain or humiliation in a sexual frame, by consent. The sadist is aroused by the delivery. The masochist is aroused by the receiving. Many people sit somewhere on both sides across a lifetime.

Pain here is chosen and bounded. A bruise that was requested on a Saturday is not the same object as a bruise from contempt in a kitchen. The difference is agreement, calibration, and aftercare. Without those, the word is just harm.

Humiliation play needs extra care because words stick longer than marks. Lists of off-limit insults exist for a reason. So do aftercare scripts that put the person back into their everyday name and worth.

If the only way you can feel is by escalating past agreed pain, stop and get help before someone is injured.