Sexual arousal is the body and mind shifting into readiness: blood to genitals, faster heart, wetness or erection, narrowed attention. It can run ahead of desire or lag behind it. A person can want sex in theory and not be aroused yet. A person can be aroused by a thought they do not actually want to act on.

Context switches it off. A noise in the hall. A cruel remark. A child waking. Trying to force the switch with more stimulation often backfires. Removing the brake works better than flooring the pedal.

Arousal nonconcordance is the research name for when the body and the story disagree. It is common. It means a physical response is not the same thing as consent or even as interest.

Give it time and specific touch. Watch the face, not only the genitals.